A story of a journey searching for sublimation.
Words by Marsha Warren Mittman
I’ve been chasing a chimera, considered an illusion or fabrication of the mind – both conceptually and literally – for almost twenty-five years.
It all started with my husband’s depression. After he’d had a session with his psychologist, the doctor pulled me aside and very gently said “Your husband is dying.”
At the time, I took his words figuratively. But then, a year later, during a completely unexpected visit to a Buddhist monastery while in Thailand, an ancient seer warned me that my husband would die in a year.
And the unthinkable happened – almost to the day.
How could these two men have seen the future? And been so absolutely certain of what they’d seen that they were comfortable giving such numbing information to me?
So there I was, a fairly young widow. With independent children, and parents who still had each other, time was suddenly my own. Life as I knew it was over – I found myself considering “What next?”
Between the prognostications of my husband’s death, and some events I’d experienced earlier in life that couldn’t be explained by our logically trained western minds, I decided I wanted answers. Back then no one spoke about spirituality or the “paranormal” except in the context of traditional religions. And there was nothing to read except ancient texts that often seemed, with their convoluted allegories and antiquated language, to have little relevance for a contemporary seeker. Moreover, some perplexing personal incidents had been shelved for years because there simply was no context for them in my accustomed western culture. I decided this was the perfect time to augment my understanding of all these seemingly inexplicable occurrences, and reinvent myself. My chimerical search to transcend third dimensional limitations began…
Years before, I lay down when my toddlers were taking an afternoon nap, and a couple seconds later found myself up on my ceiling staring down at my body – completely aware I was wide awake atop my bed’s blue comforter. Yet a “part” of me was up on the ceiling…
Later on, after learning to meditate to deal with the stress engendered by my husband’s illness, I was catapulted out of a deep meditation high up into the sky, though I was conscious at the time and aware my body was still sitting in my rocking chair.
And then there were all the flying dreams where I actually “saw” events occurring in real time. What did it all mean?
I decided to find out – I engaged my chimera. I embarked upon a true quest, a journey of spiritual discovery. I wanted to understand what “else” existed beyond our programmed minds – our minds that are moulded so we fit into the families/customs/beliefs/societies/countries within which we’re born and bred.
Everybody was derisive; said I was crazy; what I was searching for was a fantasy. And yes, after a while I began to think they were right because I didn’t see any immediate results or changes, and at times I was confronted by extreme difficulties – physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. But I was determined to uncover a different, deeper, more expansive understanding of the human experience.
I started by scaling back – sold everything, gave up the big house and comfortable lifestyle, and moved into a bare one room white-walled studio apartment. I poured over spiritual texts; meditated consistently; met regularly with a mentor; practised yoga; journaled dreams, symbols and “coincidences;” fought to control my monkey mind and transcend my karma; and began volunteering with underprivileged and immigrant children. I changed what I ate; what I did; people I spent time with; what I thought; how I lived. And there was backlash from family and friends. But on some deep primal level I knew there was more to this life than what we consider, and I was determined to uncover such understanding…
There were travels – to six continents. And gurus, elders, priests, monks, rabbis, imams, shamans, lamas, rinpoches, ashrams, silent retreats, monasteries, and innumerable sacred sites. Meditating alone at Machu Picchu’s Temple of the Sun in Peru I was “visited” by an Incan elder in a vision. In Wales, walking towards an ancient stone dolmen I suddenly saw a Druid welcoming me. At Sillustani’s sacrosanct burial mounds near the Bolivian border I had an encounter with an eagle – which remains, to this day, one of my guides. The “mandatory” trip to India elicited a surprising tangible connection to a 12th century female devi. Native American ancestral spirits “drummed” me down a sacred mountain. Visions of monks with dolphins showed up in Sedona’s famed red rock canyons which, I later discovered, were the bottom of a vast prehistoric sea eons ago. Many other incarnate and disincarnate entities both taught and kept me company on my journey And there were images of past and future lives – some wonderful, some terrible.
Yes, I’d begun to transcend the third-dimensional vibratory existence within which we imprison ourselves. Which we in the west erroneously believe is the only reality. Finally, after a number of years, pieces of a huge multi-dimensional puzzle that is ever-present started to fit together, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of self, functionality, others, purpose, love, interconnectedness, the collective unconscious, world, cosmos, divinity. And quantum physics…spirituality and science are finally conjoining.
There were also in-depth discussions with various indigenous peoples like the Aleuts, Maoris, Aborigines, Hopis and Sioux. And practitioners of Kabbalah, Sufism and Gnosticism, as well as followers of Taoism, Confucianism, Hinduism, Buddhism and Zoroastrianism. Even whirling dervishes. Through it all – the epiphanies and lows, the surprises and pain – something within kept pushing for deeper clarity and understanding, for some synthesis. No matter how difficult the twisting, obscured road, there always seemed to be guidance.
From all the studies and travels I discovered there’s an ancient body of knowledge permeating our entire world, known only to a few. This knowledge is irrespective of locale, origin, ethnicity, teachings, religions – but is nonetheless included in the latter in various guises not generally apparent to mankind. This knowledge, for lack of a better term, is called “Ancient Wisdom” and is based upon immutable Natural Law – the inherent non-human rules that govern our universe. Today, remnants of these teachings can be found in the yogic traditions of Eastern religions (Hindu, Buddhist, Taoism, Jainism), and in the mystical writings of the western Abrahamic religions (Gnosticism/Christianity, Sufism/Islam, Kabbalah/Judaism). Various tenets can also be found in indigenous and aboriginal teachings the world over.
The teachings deal with man’s ability to expand his consciousness to the point where he is able to transcend generally accepted human limitations; to move inter-dimensionally on varying universally vibrating rays of light/energy. The ancient knowledge is actually a blueprint for achieving this: to use a spiritual system built into the body to ultimately come to understand the reality of existence and the universe irrespective of human teachings. And to become the essence of what one actually is – consciousness and spirit – rather than the material being one has been programmed to believe one is.
In other geographic areas this Ancient Wisdom was referred to as “Mysteries:” the Eleusinian Mysteries during the Minoan and Mycenaean periods; those of Isis and Osiris in Egypt; the Adoniac in Syria; the Persian Mysteries; and the Phrygian Cabirian Mysteries.
Pre-Bulgarian history as recorded by Diodorus in the 1st century BC, reports that Tharops was gifted with the Thracian kingdom and taught the secrets of the Mysteries. It is further written that Tharops’ son Oeagrus inherited both the kingdom and the secret rites of the Mysteries from his father. Oeagras’ son was Orpheus, who redefined these ancient rites into the famous Orphic Mysteries, long buried in western literature.
For the nay-sayers, in 2014, at the request of the Director, I supplied some of the above information to the Trakart Museum in Plovdiv, Bulgaria, for use in English language pamphlets and tours explicating the exhibit of their “fialas,” small ceremonial glass bowls. These exquisite bowls are part of a permanent exposition “Glass in Ancient Art – 7th c. BC to 4th c. AD.” Each illustrates a different symbol associated with the various levels of an individual’s transcendence to a higher vibratory level, i.e. to a more inclusive level of consciousness.
Ignored, denigrated, considered “myth” in our culture, this ancient body of knowledge is now being validated by modern science – there are parallels to string theory, quantum physics and the quantum field. Dr. Amit Goswami, a renowned theoretical nuclear physicist with whom I’ve studied, reports “Consciousness is the ground of all being.” Theosophist Helena Blavatsky stated “Civilisation has ever developed the physical and the intellectual at the cost of the psychic and spiritual. The command over and the guidance of one’s own psychic nature, which foolish men now associate with the supernatural, were with early Humanity innate and congenital, and came to man as naturally as walking and thinking.” Einstein concurs: “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
A series of magnificent temples flank Egypt’s Nile River. They are aligned so as to correspond to the aforementioned energy system inherent in humans’ bodies, though little of this is known or practised here in the technological west. In reality, cultures worldwide have been using this system for eons for health, growth, spiritual awakening, and consciousness expansion. As such, I saved my trip to Egypt for a later date in my journeys when I felt I’d have a bit of knowledge accrued. After all the years of study and travel to sacred sites I was hoping to achieve an “awakening” to this higher consciousness and understanding by meditating in as many of these temples as possible. Due to unrest in parts of the country one temple actually had to be visited via armed caravan.
Many of the temples were open at night. After busloads of noisy day-tripping camera-toting tourists left I’d silently slip into their magnificent surroundings, find a secluded corner, and sit and meditate. Each temple was crafted and located along the Nile River to specifically associate with an ascending energy centre in humans’ bodies. I visited each temple in order, hoping to awaken each of my own bodily hubs in succession. When these energy vortices are activated and aligned – according to Ancient Wisdom tenets – connections to advanced consciousness, divinity, and expanded abilities (such as telepathy and telemetry) can be cultivated…
…and absolutely nothing whatsoever happened! I was crushed. At least in the Great Pyramid I actually felt massive waves of energy, but at the temples – though I thoroughly enjoyed them for their beauty, architecture, and history – nothing of spiritual import occurred.
Finally, a number of years later, there was a major breakthrough. It was my original mentor who suggested I meditate ON England’s famed Stonehenge. And I suddenly realised that throughout all my travels I’d been meditating IN sacred places, but had never really meditated UPON them.
And that night, simply while meditating at home in my bedroom in an old robe and slippers, there was a magical vision. I suddenly saw myself standing in the centre of Stonehenge, perched atop our globe. From a rising sun, rays of light started to penetrate the ancient site, eventually completely lighting up the interior of its stone circles with me still standing in the centre. And then, as if the earth below my feet was hollow and I was seeing its spherical crust from within, all of the sacred places I’d visited all over the world suddenly lit up and shot thin threads of light out to me, standing there in Stonehenge’s center, to be absorbed by my body.
The stones were next: they each shot threads of light into my body as well. And I intuitively knew – after all the years, study, travel, and derision – that my energy centres were being awakened, activated and aligned. Not in Egypt, not in far-away exotic places, but right at home – in my robe and slippers.
The road was chimerical – it wasn’t always definable, straight, or easy, and it’s different for every person. It got bumpy at times, and occasionally there were detours and even an accident. The journey mandated questioning each step, and every aspect of existence and accepted reality in order to reach a far deeper understanding of who and what we are, and what we’re all capable of.
This new awareness, with its associated gifts and abilities, is inclusive and accepting of everything and everyone, and truly available to everybody. For ultimately, after all the searching and travels, I’ve come to realise the most important aspect of the journey is meditation. To quiet and empty our minds enough so as to facilitate leaving our accustomed, accepted, programmed level of knowing, therein being able to access a higher vibratory level of existence. The road then reaches out to the seeker – for the Destination is already embedded inside each and every one of us. And at that point, the seeker finally realises that truly, his chimera IS the reality, and what is considered to be real is the actual fantasy…